Parent Life.

Where does it begin?  Where does it end?  Why does it feel empty.

Being back at work for a year and a half, just about, I’m starting to feel unfulfilled in life, like I should be doing something more that makes me excited.  I wonder if I am loosing interest in my job because I’m just stressed being a mom and partner, or is it because I need to make a change in day-to-day life?  How does one figure this out?

There are a million things I feel like I could do, but don’t have the oomph to do it, such as being a master baker, super organizer for the house, fixer upper for the house, Pintrest mom of the year.

Pintrest.  What is Pintrest doing to us, I don’t even browse it but feel the pressures of it when my two year old comes home with gift bags that parents of other kids send in for their child’s birthday.  Who has time for this shit?  The kids don’t care, nor will they remember any of it, so what is the point?  Needless to say, I didn’t do anything for my daughter’s second birthday, at the daycare that is.

Why do we have these ridiculous expectations of parents?  What does it mean to be a parent?  To me, it is to ensure that your child is healthy, happy and engaged.  So why all the extra fluff?  To show the other parents we are better than them?  Give me a break, we are all doing the best we can to raise our children so gtfo with all the fluff as it proves nothing to me.  You  may spend your spare time making gift bags for kids, I spend mine ignoring the mess that is my house and I spend time with my little one, or, I just relax with some shows and go to bed if she is asleep.

What can I do to feel more fulfilled in life?  Do I quit my job and start a home business?  What would that home business look like?  How do I ensure profitability so that we can still ensure we make ends meet with the mortgage, bills, etc.  What AM I passionate about?  I don’t know.  Where do I go from here?  What do I enjoy, I enjoy being lazy, I enjoy daydreaming about owning a cottage, about working for myself, working from home, anything other than a desk job.  I feel like I need a month off to just do that, nothing, daydream, clean, organize, fix things.  Am I overwhelmed because I feel like there is so much to do but no energy to do it?  Is this what having a kid is like?

This, is Parent Life.